You know how in books and movies the girl always gets the ideal boy she's been lusting after eventually? Yes, well that is how I hope for it to work out for me as well but I am well aware of how I look and most definitely for a fact know that I am not one of those girls who don't realize they are beautiful.
Reason being, those girls are an urban myth.
I was once told I look like a guitarist's hippie girlfriend and that is by far my favorite compliment yet including all the times my ex boyfriend told me I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. He was obviously using it as a bait for the physical aspect of our disastrous relationship but lets not get into that.
So the ideal guy. Yes. How do I imagine him to be? Well, he's lovely. He's sensitive, funny, witty, charming and for a change, respectful. Of course, he'd have no idea I'm head over heels for him but I often picture myself finding this ideal boy and one day, I would gather the courage to tell him how I feel about him. I'd ask him to ravish me and he would pull me towards him and make sweet passionate love to me on either a piano or the soft velvet carpet floor of the recording studio because obviously, being some sort of an amateur musician that is after all the sexual fantasy for me and after the scandal we'd elope to make more love and of course, music. We'd smoke up and become peddlers as it would be a risky yet excellent source of money. We'd get stoned and listen to Pink Floyd, Radiohad and Tool. We would eventually stop peddling and start a band and play at a tiny Restro-Bar where I'd work as a waitress some nights because we'd need money to pay our bills. We'd steal wine and drown ourselves in it on the roof while conversing between kisses at 2 in the morning.
It would be perfect. He would be perfect.
But that's just the stoner and alcoholic in me talking. Maybe even the drug dealer and potential law school drop out. All I know for now is that this ideal boy probably doesn't even exist and if he does, he probably is not affected by my existence because in real life that ideal guy:
A) has a gorgeous girlfriend,
B) is out of my league,
C) friend-zones me.
and I'm just a crazy girl in love.
Reason being, those girls are an urban myth.
I was once told I look like a guitarist's hippie girlfriend and that is by far my favorite compliment yet including all the times my ex boyfriend told me I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. He was obviously using it as a bait for the physical aspect of our disastrous relationship but lets not get into that.
So the ideal guy. Yes. How do I imagine him to be? Well, he's lovely. He's sensitive, funny, witty, charming and for a change, respectful. Of course, he'd have no idea I'm head over heels for him but I often picture myself finding this ideal boy and one day, I would gather the courage to tell him how I feel about him. I'd ask him to ravish me and he would pull me towards him and make sweet passionate love to me on either a piano or the soft velvet carpet floor of the recording studio because obviously, being some sort of an amateur musician that is after all the sexual fantasy for me and after the scandal we'd elope to make more love and of course, music. We'd smoke up and become peddlers as it would be a risky yet excellent source of money. We'd get stoned and listen to Pink Floyd, Radiohad and Tool. We would eventually stop peddling and start a band and play at a tiny Restro-Bar where I'd work as a waitress some nights because we'd need money to pay our bills. We'd steal wine and drown ourselves in it on the roof while conversing between kisses at 2 in the morning.
It would be perfect. He would be perfect.
But that's just the stoner and alcoholic in me talking. Maybe even the drug dealer and potential law school drop out. All I know for now is that this ideal boy probably doesn't even exist and if he does, he probably is not affected by my existence because in real life that ideal guy:
A) has a gorgeous girlfriend,
B) is out of my league,
C) friend-zones me.
and I'm just a crazy girl in love.
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