I sat down on a vacant seat at the station and waited for my train. I took a sip of my caramel iced coffee and instantly regretted getting it. It was too sweet for my taste. As I waited, I fiddled with my phone, checking it for a text I know I will never receive. 0 new messages said my phone. I missed him and there was nothing i could do about it except pretend I did not and it was hard. Oh, it was so hard but that is the only option you have when someone wakes up one day and decides you are bad for them. Its crazy isn't it? How someone who promised you the moon and stars seems to just let go of you because they can't keep their promises even though you don't want them to leave? I'm getting used to being on my own but somehow, i hope he comes back. I hope he remembers what we had in the beginning and realizes how much he loves me and comes back but I shouldn't hope for such things. I really shouldn't because it will never happen and I was slowly coming to terms with that. I saw my train arrive at the platform and rushed in. I secured a seat next to a pretty lady in a business suit and across a couple. Ugh, the last thing I needed was to see a happy couple make a fuss over each other. I looked away the second I saw them kiss and fought the urge to yell "get a room" at them. That boy might break her heart and leave her in another one week and that girl will be left abandoned and alone because isn't that what happens with everyone? I wondered how many people in the train had ever gotten their hearts broken. I decided to ditch these thoughts as soon as i felt my eyes swelling up. No, not here, not now. I looked out of the window, watched as the world rushed by and took another sip of the repulsive iced coffee I had bought.
"Its a lovely weather isn't it?" asked the pretty lady in the business suit. I smiled and secretly hoped she would say no more. If there is anything I hate more than happy couples, it is small talk with strangers. Just as the woman started to say something else, my phone beeped. It was probably mom asking what is taking me so long but it wasn't mom.
It was him. I started at my phone's screen. "New message received from DO NOT CALL/TEXT HIM" With trembling hands I opened the text.
"I miss you."
I stared at my phone some more. "Are you okay, hon?" asked the woman, "You look a little pale."
"I'm fine." I spat out my standard reply to everything. If only she knew, I wasn't fine at all.
No. I couldn't possibly let him hurt me again. I wasn't going to give in again. He will fix everything and make me happy and then just leave. He'll just abandon me like he did before. No.
And then, I texted back, compiling everything I went through after he left in one text and as I sent it, I started to regret it just like i regretted my caramel coffee because my text said the complete opposite of what I had convinced myself not to say.
My text said "I miss you too."
"Its a lovely weather isn't it?" asked the pretty lady in the business suit. I smiled and secretly hoped she would say no more. If there is anything I hate more than happy couples, it is small talk with strangers. Just as the woman started to say something else, my phone beeped. It was probably mom asking what is taking me so long but it wasn't mom.
It was him. I started at my phone's screen. "New message received from DO NOT CALL/TEXT HIM" With trembling hands I opened the text.
"I miss you."
I stared at my phone some more. "Are you okay, hon?" asked the woman, "You look a little pale."
"I'm fine." I spat out my standard reply to everything. If only she knew, I wasn't fine at all.
No. I couldn't possibly let him hurt me again. I wasn't going to give in again. He will fix everything and make me happy and then just leave. He'll just abandon me like he did before. No.
And then, I texted back, compiling everything I went through after he left in one text and as I sent it, I started to regret it just like i regretted my caramel coffee because my text said the complete opposite of what I had convinced myself not to say.
My text said "I miss you too."
